It's All a Joke...

Being part of technology has its ups and downs. You get to throw around cool jargon and can pretend to be the intelligent kid on the block. The downside, most commonly known and in layperson terms "User Support". 

Not discriminating towards professional clients, this lot also includes friends and family (every techie will relate to this - you are called for queries ranging from fans to refrigerators to actual areas of expertise i.e. hardware and software). They do come with their share of hilarious memories. This is a compilation of the top 5 memories from the last two decades.

Note: This post does not intend to offend people. As ridiculous as they may sound, they are true. While some scenarios stem from innocence and general lack of technical expertise others are actually what we used to refer to as PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair).

#1 - The Coffee Tray seems broken
This is from Desktop Computer days...

User:  Hi... The coffee tray in the computer is not working I think
Tech:  I'm sorry, did you say coffee tray? 
User:  Yes, I'm used to it... It seems to be not working anymore
Tech:  I am not sure about the problem, are we talking about your desktop computer?
User:  Of course, why else would I call you?
Tech:  There is no coffee tray in it
User:  Damn well there is, the top section, where you press a button and tray with a round hole in the middle comes out
Tech:  That's a CD ROM!!!

#2 - Drying the Keyboard
Back in the golden days when computer assembly and sale fetched a lot of money, we had an elderly gentleman who had bought a computer from us. One day he called in...

User:  Hi son... There's been a problem
Tech:  Hi uncle... What's wrong?
User:  I left the window open and all the rainwater has poured into the keyboard
Tech:  No worries, just flip it and leave it upside down to drain out the water and dry
User:  That's it?
Tech:  Yep... you don't need to do anything else
User:  Thanks :)
User:  Most welcome

The gentleman called us back after a month...
User: Hi son... Can I flip the keyboard back up now? 

#3 - Curious Case of the Missing Report
We sent an e-mail to a user with a screenshot (as proof) that a new report is now made available in the system...

User:  I don't think the report is in the system
Tech:  Why? You can't see it? I sent a screenshot to confirm 
User:  I'm pretty sure it is not in the system
Tech:  I sent an email with a screenshot as proof that I put it there today and it is now available 
User:  I still don't think it will be there
Tech:  Can I know why you think so?
User:  Because it wasn't there yesterday
Tech:  (breathing heavily into the phone)...
User:  (now a little scaredShould I check?
Tech:  I think that would be good for both of us (slamming the phone)

#4 - Ritual
Sometimes I think the user just misses me...

User:  Hey... I just changed data in another system but it's not reflecting in your system
Tech:  And... what have we normally been doing about this for the last 13 months?
User:  Reaching out to the team that manages that system because they didn't send it to your system
Tech:  So... why have you called me?
User:  Because I can't see the data in your system
Tech:  (a little dead inside) And... why is that?
User:  Because they didn't send it
Tech:  (trying to breathe) So... who can fix it?
User:  They can
Tech:  So... who should you call?
User:  Them?
Tech:  (sarcastic) Excellent!

#5 - Common Sense is not so Common
These are the kind of people tech support has to deal with. They are simply not paid enough...

User:  In the Testing System, I signed off data for 9th march, but I don't see it in the Reporting System
Tech:  (after checking logs) It's mid-month (daily) data you've signed off, you are looking for it under month-end in the Reporting System
User:  No for my department, it always shows up under month-end for any date
Tech:  That's not possible... Only month-end data ends up in month-end
User:  You are wrong! I know what I am talking about
Tech:  I am the one who has made this functionality, I know that is not possible
User:  I can show it PRODUCTION... I'm doing it for years
Tech:  I would love to see that 😀
User:  See in PRODUCTION, I signed of 28th of February and it's gone as month-end data
Tech:  Because the 28th of February is Month End!!!!
User:  Oooooooo......

That's all for now folks!

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