Slient Courage

(Written by Shaheen Kazi)

“Mama, I had a bad dream”, a shaky voice calls out to me. I stir groggily and see a crying figure near my bed. I fold her in my lap and hug her gently rocking back and forth. “It's going to be alright, Mamma’s here”. I look at the watch and its 3.37 am. It was 1 am when I had gotten into bed, after completing an urgent office presentation. Looks like it's going to be a long day and I keep rocking her until she falls asleep.

I leave from office while it's still daylight for a change and I smile at the thought of having a few extra hours for my girl and myself. I am going to have a nice cup of tea, I think, as I enter the house. I hear a voice, “Ma’am the faucet’s leaking and the doorknob is loose”, says my helper. I keep my bag down, enjoy the hugs and cuddles from my girl for a minute and roll up my sleeves to start fixing the faucet and then the knob. Ninety minutes later, having saved eighty dollars, feeling pleased with myself, I sit down for the first time and turn towards that innocent face who has been waiting patiently for me all the while. As I smile and run my hand through her hair, she starts rattling off her day, chattering away and I feel this calmness engulf me. 

Between the bills to pay, office deadlines to meet, doctor’s appointment, helping with studies, keep a house running and act as an impromptu handyman, plumber, I still somehow miraculously manage to also be a mother to this beautiful child and I sometimes wonder HOW!! It’s simple, I just had to be there for her – I just had to show up.

Yes, I would love to have a companion who can share the load with me both physically and mentally, but with this silent courage that I never knew I had within me, life is beautiful. 

Each one of us has our own struggles and we still get up and face it every day – that is our silent courage! The most powerful courage of all; to get up and just show up and face life every day in spite of all the troubles! It does not matter if you are a mom or a dad or single or married, believe in yourself and your silent courage and just show up!

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